Rewards

So it turns out I'm still not amazing at this blog thing. But I figured out its not because im not an amazingly interesting, handsome, and intelligent individual who can come up with the best blog with picture ideas. Its simply because im too lazy to draw the detailed images! So imma try somthin' new #newstrategy

#makinghashtagshappenineverysituation

#toolong

#loljksimjustlazy

...but the point is I thought I'd try out this new fangled idea of doing blog entries without pictures! I know, I know, it's an insane I but bare with, because I think that this may just work.

So with that out of the way I should go back to the title of the entry, which I actually had half drawn pictures of (look forward to these in the future!). I've noticed that I have this habit of celebrating and rewarding myself for even the tiniest of achievements. The extent of this actually hit me when I gave a presentation to people and half way through, I gave myself a little clap and cheered in my head for getting that far. Needless to say no one else was clapping...

I think this all comes back to early school days where we were encouraged to pat ourselves on the back whenever did something good. But its a slippery slope guys, with a steep incline...

See, I like to see rewards and filling an ever depleting health bar. One moment those pats fill your rewards bar, but then they just don't cut it. You start clapping for yourself, then the cheers come. Next thing you know, you're at rock bottom stealing from houses and selling yourself so you can get enough money for that canned applause machine with those mega sized speakers.

... ok that last point may have been slightly exaggerated.

Being ill

So I've had an amazing summer! Ticked a few things off my bucket list by travelling round Belgium and ending with a trip to Paris. All refreshed and recharged, I started my law course ready to learn and be the super student I was always too lazy to become.

Part of what made me so sure of my energy levels was that I was certain I would not get ill at all. I mean, there was no chance I'd be going to the hospitals, and since my course is post-grad I could avoid the undergrads and their dreaded 'fresher's flu'. Or so I thought.

I clearly underestimated the sneakiness of this illness. Was it the first year I foolishly sat next to on the bus? Or maybe the part time coffee shop worker handing me my change in a germ filled hand? Perhaps an undergrad snuck into one of my lectures beforehand, coughed and then left, laughing manically and they exited. Most likely it is all of the above.

Whatever the cause I now lie here, intermittently sweating and shivering.  Doomed the sit and watch my tv shows all day.

My destiny is clearly not to be a super student. So I'll sit solemnly and eat junk food whilst watching "real housewives" : (

Sorry..

I'm clearly not good at keeping up with this blog...

However! I was not just lazing about like normal. I was in fact holidaying in Barcelona, writing reports, working in the hospital, and organising my life.

Not only was I doing this, but I was tasked with saving the world, as this accurate depiction will show.

...And with the world finally safe again from this very real threat, I have returned to blogging and being generally amazing.

Deffo not made up at all ^_^

Productivity and sunshine

I've kind of turned over a new leaf...

Like, I've definitely become more productive. My report is coming along nicely, but I still have time to relax. Finally achieved this mythical work life balance everyone is always talking about ^_^. Oh and the sun has been shining so much recently it can even make the litter-filled streets look pretty!

But I should probably address the issue of my very late 'weekly' blog post. You see, I fully intended to write every week, it's not as if stuff hasn't happened, or I've been too busy its just... Well... I discovered Parks & Recreation. Then I got a minor addiction and spent days huddled up in bed (owling in a blanket) watching all of season 1 and 2 on my laptop.

It's a really really funny show! Totally legit reason for procrastination! I guess it would've been fine if I had got back to work after this detour. But then I decided to make up for all the time in bed eating snacks, by running outside in the insanely good weather.

I actually discovered that when I exercise, I become one of those sickeningly annoying people who run twice a day every day, eat healthy food and won't stop telling you about it. Can't count the amount of times I've said "I'm gonna get in a quick run before I meet you then I can run after!". It's not needed, it's not wanted, but it just feels so satisfying to be on the healthy team for once :(

The good side is that exercise totally energizes you, I was writing my report so easily and getting tons of sleep. Nice weather, report almost finished, getting fit and healthy, perfect! Then procrastination set in again, and I started exercising or planning my exercises, or saving energy to exercise instead of working on my report. You see, in my mind exercise didn't count as procrastination, because it was healthy. Nor did eating healthy food, because it was good for you. At one point the deadline for an update on my report had long passed, I was running low on excuses, and literally running from my problems.

But I think I'm back on track now. Cut down on the running and tv shows till this thing is finished. Lesson learned from all of this? Exercise is bad, you're better off sitting in bed watching TV.

Lazy day

So...

I am having a lazy day today. I LOVE these days ^-^. They don't come too often, I mean a nice lazy day. I get plenty of these days where I do absolutely nothing, but am followed around by guilt because I should actually be doing work.

What I love about today is that I got a little bit ahead in my work and have made no plans for today. This means I can stay inside and laze without guilt! I make full use of it too, surrounding myself with food and wrapping myself like an owl in my duvet. Some may argue that it's a complete waste of a day, but is finishing a packs of biscuits and a few series of a tv drama on my laptop really a waste of a day? Probably, but I'm gonna go ahead and pretend it isn't.

I suppose the one bad thing about this day is that it makes me react to social situations like a hermit. For example, if anyone rings and asks to meet up, or suggests something amazing to do, I'll just say no. Not because I wouldn't enjoy it, or because I'm in desperate need of the rest either. It's almost like this lazy day has become incredibly important in my mind, and I can't understand why anyone would want to interrupt me mid-episode of a show I'm not sure I really like.

Oh well! I'm just gonna go ahead and continue hiding in my bed till the end of the day ^-^

Distraction helps to motivate me!

So I'm working on a new theory...

Distraction helps to motivate! I'm sure this is true, because when I have tons of people to see and lots of places to go, I still manage to finish reports and work. Its only when I have so much free time that I face the procrastinitis thing. Its just taking me a while to figure out which distraction will motivate me...

I tried reading, watching films, playing games, lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, napping. None of those worked! Which in hindsight is pretty obvious -.- But when you have work to do, all of those things seem justifiable; a nap will reenergise you for work and a short relaxing break will prepare you for stressful work! Lying on the floor? Well that was just in the hopes of an epiphany were I can invent something amazing and never have to finish this report ^_^;

But yes! I found that exercise is amazingly good for motivation! I decided that since its been so many weeks since i've ran I better start with something light: badminton. The easiest thing ever, you just hit a slow moving object around and it sorta counts as exercise : D at least enough to gear me up to be productive. Turns out I'm pretty good at it, and I've won quite a few games. The only thing is, I've got it in my head that I'm some all-star badminton player who NEEDS to be in the next olympics so we can get gold, and that I look so awesome scoring.

...When really I'm just kinda waving my racket without any purpose around and something eventually happens. Still, it deffo beats the look of dismay and exhaustion i have when I'm running.

Procrastination without the fun

Urgh

So I've recently finished my last written exam for this semester, and now I've started this special project where I need to write a massive report and do a presentation at the end. But I have quite a long time to do this, and I don't actually have to go in to do doctor stuff that much this time. Really I should be mega productive with my time in the day so I can rest and relax in the night. I mean, I've been given the chance to do this, so why not? How hard could it be to do all my work in the week so I have my weekends free?

Unfortunately, I have developed procrastinitis; I am now a master of procrastination and avoiding work at all costs. But I'm really not enjoying it! I feel awful every time I find myself not doing work, but at the same time I really can't bring myself to even want to work. The result of this is that I end up wasting my time doing fun things but feeling so guilty throughout the activity that I'm not actually having any fun. Which leads me to doing more fun stuff to relieve the stress of feeling guilty, making me more guilty, and the cycle continues.

It's actually gotten to the point where even normal, mundane activities make me feel guilty because they eat even further into the time where I should be working

I have no idea how to handle this, normally it just fizzles out as a working frenzy begins when the deadline approaches. But the deadline is so far! I care so little and I feel terrible about it. One possible tactic I'm exploring is playing medicine themed games, which is like a combination of fun and work right?.. Right? 

Second Entry

Lead aprons

These heavy things we have to wear in hospital at times to avoid scary radiation blasts from the x-ray machines. Normally they're pretty basic: heavy, green or red in colour, uncomfortable. So I was in theatre one day and we all have to put these things on since x-rays will be taken during the operation. Then I see it, the best damn looking lead apron I've ever seen, and the comfortable was out of this world! (Ok it was still a bit uncomfortable but how it looked made up for that). I put it on and was excessively overjoyed. If the nurses hadn't stopped me I would've walked out with it and never taken it off.

My reaction to getting to wear this thing is a good indicator of how interesting my life was at the time. Which unlike most medical dramas like to depict, consisted mostly of sitting in the library reading and being mad at myself for not remembering the 14th acronym I had created to remember some condition I'm not sure I fully understand. I hate acronyms so much, but darn they can be useful.

First entry

OK

I spent a good hour or so trying to think of the best opening to a blog. I've tried this thing in the past but I tend to always launch into some irrelevant complaint against the world. Probably because in the past my blogs were written when I was a teenager and also I love to complain. But I am a teenager no more!

The bad news is that I still love to complain, and I have recently discovered that I am clearly not imaginative enough to think up an amazing and entrancing opening to have you hooked. So instead of startling you with my amazing wit and master of language, I have just made you waste a minute or two of your life reading this. So in a sense I did achieve something ^-^ (<--- get used to these faces, I do love to overuse them)

So next up on the blog intro list: Introductions! I'm Ryan, 22, medical student who is going to take a year out next year to study medical ethics and law. I think when I chose to do this, I had it in my head that with that extra degree I'd transform into some super crime solving, super healing lawyer-doctor-superhero combo. 

But I've since been told that I may be just a little bit deluded on that part...

Now for the part where I complain!... Um, actually today's been pretty good. My bus came early, I had a good sleep, got quite a bit of work done. I guess the weather wasn't great, but it didn't rain till I was inside. Oh! I made some coffee, and I've tasted better, but it was still nice so I drank it.

Amazing introduction: Check

Introduction to me: Check

Superfluous complaint: Check (kind of)