Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Lazy day

So...

I am having a lazy day today. I LOVE these days ^-^. They don't come too often, I mean a nice lazy day. I get plenty of these days where I do absolutely nothing, but am followed around by guilt because I should actually be doing work.



What I love about today is that I got a little bit ahead in my work and have made no plans for today. This means I can stay inside and laze without guilt! I make full use of it too, surrounding myself with food and wrapping myself like an owl in my duvet. Some may argue that it's a complete waste of a day, but is finishing a packs of biscuits and a few series of a tv drama on my laptop really a waste of a day? Probably, but I'm gonna go ahead and pretend it isn't.



I suppose the one bad thing about this day is that it makes me react to social situations like a hermit. For example, if anyone rings and asks to meet up, or suggests something amazing to do, I'll just say no. Not because I wouldn't enjoy it, or because I'm in desperate need of the rest either. It's almost like this lazy day has become incredibly important in my mind, and I can't understand why anyone would want to interrupt me mid-episode of a show I'm not sure I really like.



Oh well! I'm just gonna go ahead and continue hiding in my bed till the end of the day ^-^

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Procrastination without the fun

Urgh

So I've recently finished my last written exam for this semester, and now I've started this special project where I need to write a massive report and do a presentation at the end. But I have quite a long time to do this, and I don't actually have to go in to do doctor stuff that much this time. Really I should be mega productive with my time in the day so I can rest and relax in the night. I mean, I've been given the chance to do this, so why not? How hard could it be to do all my work in the week so I have my weekends free?

Unfortunately, I have developed procrastinitis; I am now a master of procrastination and avoiding work at all costs. But I'm really not enjoying it! I feel awful every time I find myself not doing work, but at the same time I really can't bring myself to even want to work. The result of this is that I end up wasting my time doing fun things but feeling so guilty throughout the activity that I'm not actually having any fun. Which leads me to doing more fun stuff to relieve the stress of feeling guilty, making me more guilty, and the cycle continues.





It's actually gotten to the point where even normal, mundane activities make me feel guilty because they eat even further into the time where I should be working



I have no idea how to handle this, normally it just fizzles out as a working frenzy begins when the deadline approaches. But the deadline is so far! I care so little and I feel terrible about it. One possible tactic I'm exploring is playing medicine themed games, which is like a combination of fun and work right?.. Right?