Rewards

So it turns out I'm still not amazing at this blog thing. But I figured out its not because im not an amazingly interesting, handsome, and intelligent individual who can come up with the best blog with picture ideas. Its simply because im too lazy to draw the detailed images! So imma try somthin' new #newstrategy

#makinghashtagshappenineverysituation

#toolong

#loljksimjustlazy

...but the point is I thought I'd try out this new fangled idea of doing blog entries without pictures! I know, I know, it's an insane I but bare with, because I think that this may just work.

So with that out of the way I should go back to the title of the entry, which I actually had half drawn pictures of (look forward to these in the future!). I've noticed that I have this habit of celebrating and rewarding myself for even the tiniest of achievements. The extent of this actually hit me when I gave a presentation to people and half way through, I gave myself a little clap and cheered in my head for getting that far. Needless to say no one else was clapping...

I think this all comes back to early school days where we were encouraged to pat ourselves on the back whenever did something good. But its a slippery slope guys, with a steep incline...

See, I like to see rewards and filling an ever depleting health bar. One moment those pats fill your rewards bar, but then they just don't cut it. You start clapping for yourself, then the cheers come. Next thing you know, you're at rock bottom stealing from houses and selling yourself so you can get enough money for that canned applause machine with those mega sized speakers.

... ok that last point may have been slightly exaggerated.

Productivity and sunshine

I've kind of turned over a new leaf...

Like, I've definitely become more productive. My report is coming along nicely, but I still have time to relax. Finally achieved this mythical work life balance everyone is always talking about ^_^. Oh and the sun has been shining so much recently it can even make the litter-filled streets look pretty!

But I should probably address the issue of my very late 'weekly' blog post. You see, I fully intended to write every week, it's not as if stuff hasn't happened, or I've been too busy its just... Well... I discovered Parks & Recreation. Then I got a minor addiction and spent days huddled up in bed (owling in a blanket) watching all of season 1 and 2 on my laptop.

It's a really really funny show! Totally legit reason for procrastination! I guess it would've been fine if I had got back to work after this detour. But then I decided to make up for all the time in bed eating snacks, by running outside in the insanely good weather.

I actually discovered that when I exercise, I become one of those sickeningly annoying people who run twice a day every day, eat healthy food and won't stop telling you about it. Can't count the amount of times I've said "I'm gonna get in a quick run before I meet you then I can run after!". It's not needed, it's not wanted, but it just feels so satisfying to be on the healthy team for once :(

The good side is that exercise totally energizes you, I was writing my report so easily and getting tons of sleep. Nice weather, report almost finished, getting fit and healthy, perfect! Then procrastination set in again, and I started exercising or planning my exercises, or saving energy to exercise instead of working on my report. You see, in my mind exercise didn't count as procrastination, because it was healthy. Nor did eating healthy food, because it was good for you. At one point the deadline for an update on my report had long passed, I was running low on excuses, and literally running from my problems.

But I think I'm back on track now. Cut down on the running and tv shows till this thing is finished. Lesson learned from all of this? Exercise is bad, you're better off sitting in bed watching TV.

Procrastination without the fun

Urgh

So I've recently finished my last written exam for this semester, and now I've started this special project where I need to write a massive report and do a presentation at the end. But I have quite a long time to do this, and I don't actually have to go in to do doctor stuff that much this time. Really I should be mega productive with my time in the day so I can rest and relax in the night. I mean, I've been given the chance to do this, so why not? How hard could it be to do all my work in the week so I have my weekends free?

Unfortunately, I have developed procrastinitis; I am now a master of procrastination and avoiding work at all costs. But I'm really not enjoying it! I feel awful every time I find myself not doing work, but at the same time I really can't bring myself to even want to work. The result of this is that I end up wasting my time doing fun things but feeling so guilty throughout the activity that I'm not actually having any fun. Which leads me to doing more fun stuff to relieve the stress of feeling guilty, making me more guilty, and the cycle continues.

It's actually gotten to the point where even normal, mundane activities make me feel guilty because they eat even further into the time where I should be working

I have no idea how to handle this, normally it just fizzles out as a working frenzy begins when the deadline approaches. But the deadline is so far! I care so little and I feel terrible about it. One possible tactic I'm exploring is playing medicine themed games, which is like a combination of fun and work right?.. Right?